Right time to give
Do you remember the verse in Ecclesiastes, where the Bible says that there is a time for everything under heaven? The same Bible also says that givers never lack. Todays topic will focus on the timing of giving.
• Google.com
Now, when is the right time to give, to oil a relationship between relatives, friends and lovers? Truth be told there is a time to give and it will remain evergreen in the memory of the recipient. There is a time to advice, give financial support, correct wrong attitude, give food, clothes, support failing health, education, become a mentor or save a situation etc. Giving when someone is ready or have excess might not be as effective and weighty as when one steps in to meet a need.
One occasion I experienced quality giving at a time I preciously needed it. I happened sometime ago with a good Samaritan who might not want her name in print. This person was celebrated in Sunday Sun. After some weeks, she invited me for lunch. While having a conversation with her, my phone rang and at the other end was my house agent, who reminded me of my next rent payment. While I was discussing with the agent and seeking his understanding over my request for a little time to raise money, my benefactor who listened to our conversation said, “Tell the agent I will send him the balance of the payment.” Immediately, she wrote a cheque of that amount. Though without her, the bill would have been paid, but the manner in which she stepped in to provide the needed balance was the height of giving. She saw a need and gave out wholeheartedly and selflessly. It was a worthy giving which will last forever in my memory. Interestingly, there are relationships where a timely kind gesture has made the giver king or queen in heart of the beneficiary.
Towards the end of their lives, many highly accomplished persons regret their non-timely giving. They regret the time they did not spend with their loved ones. The time they did not spend with their children. The training their children missed from them. The time they did not give their families. The family gathering and social events they refused to attend or could not make out time to attend. The love, care, money, time, attention they did not give their elderly parents.
Pastor Ben Akabueze, a senior pastor in Redeemed Christian Church of God (RCCG) and former Finance commissioner in Lagos State, during an interview recalled how he visited his younger brother and his wife who just gave birth at 4:00 am because of his busy schedule. “News of the birth of my little nephew was broken to me with joy. Schedules and programmes were almost preventing me from visiting my brothers family even to see the newborn. Early morning, on a Saturday, after our vigil in church, I drove down to their home and when they were alerted that early by their security details, he thought I was being pursued by armed robbers until I got into the house. The baby was woken up from sleep to meet big daddy for the first time. Will the brother and his family ever forget that gesture? Same way the couple would not have forgotten if Akabueze had not visited on account of the very tight schedule.
I remember the case of an octogenarian, Pa Bassey Udom, who fell sick and was hospitalised. While he was on admission in the hospital, his three sons came from different locations to see him within the period.
The health of the elderly man improved remarkably because of the care his children gave him while in the hospital. A drama later played out when the man heard he was about to be discharged; he suffered a relapse because his children would disperse and he would be alone again. His doctors complained that this happened several times, almost seeming like a cycle: good response to treatment, mention of discharge quickly followed by rapid deterioration.
Related News
Pa Udom eventually confided in his doctors that he had not seen his three sons together since they grew up and left home. They even rarely came home. So, it was a pleasant surprise seeing the three of them together. It reminded him of their growing up years. It was his illness that brought them home and close. In essence, he was enjoying the time he spent with his children and craved for more of such.
Fortunately, the sons understood his need and promised to come home more regularly. The sons were lucky not to miss the precise time to give their time and attention. I also believe they got their fathers blessings!
I still remember an old Nollywood film titled Died Wretched with Tony Umez as the lead actor. In the plot, Tony who was a wealthy man in the film neglected his uncle who raised him when he lost his father as a young age. As the man became old, life took a bad turn against him and excruciating poverty set in immediately. The uncle would always beckon on him to support his failing health, food and bills. But Umez was full of stories in his well-furnished bubbling mansion. His uncle lived in abject poverty and eventually died. In the same film, Umez spent millions during the funeral.
He bought a casket that was more expensive than the uncles dilapidated house. He buried him in an expensive fabric while he had won rags when alive. He fed masses with quality cuisine while the uncle died hungry.
Paradoxically, I summed it up as a wretched man who was buried liked a king! The film taught that Umez the lead actor missed the time to give.
Regrettably, some people are still doing same to their parents and guardians who raised them, paid school fees and made sacrifices to give them a better life. Their parents live in abject poverty, no good accommodation, good food, medical care while they live like Kings and Queens.
A certain gospel artiste who just got married bought his new wife a mansion worth millions of naira, added a state-of-the-art Porshe range rover, 2024 model for the comfort of his wife. Well-done Brother. Which one did you buy for your mother who single-handedly raised you? You told how two of you used to sell vegetable in the market to make ends meet because your father died early. Now that fortune has smiled on you, where is your mothers luxury house and car? When she dies tomorrow, you will give her a state burial. Brother! there is an exact time to give.
Though some are being manipulated by their spouses to neglect their parents. This is absolutely wrong and rubbish!
Let us remember that passage in the book of Galatians that says Honour your father and mother do not forget it is the only commandment with a promise! People who neglect it are missing the time to give.
In the same vein, what about the case of the wealthy man who built mansions all over the place. He trained his children and sent them abroad. In the twilight of his life, his children became carried away with foreign frivolities and refused to return to Nigeria due to insecurity. They were not interested in his wealth which includeed many buildings and other landed property. He, therefore, called other relatives (nephews, nieces, Clcousins, in-laws, etc) to bequeath the properties to them. The values of some of the properties were in the millions. The relatives rejected them outright and boldly told him: “We dont need you now! We needed you 35 to 40 years ago when we were looking for N5 to buy JAMB form, N100 to pay school fees or even N200 to cook and eat. You did not have time for us, you never gave us. We do not need you now! He died sorrowful. Some of his abandoned properties were taken over by total strangers and the government. Others became homes for snakes, lizards and insects. He missed the time to give.
He would have made more impact and had a lasting legacy if he had upheld those relatives by providing school fees, food, empowered their businesses, provided medical care at the correct time because he had it to give, but he missed the time to give. Those relatives who have great opportunities to employ others, remember, the time is ticking fast, there is a time to give
Dear Nigerians, considering the current economic situations in Nigeria, look around you, there must be someone who is in need. The time to build lasting legacy and write your name in gold is now. The time to give is now. Do not miss it.